Guest Contributer
Anthropomorphism. As a
youngster it was simple, as a teenager it stirred questions and at age thirty
nine it is my saving grace, and the only portal I feel open to me as the Day of
Judgment approaches.
Long gone are my dreams of attaining any serious
level of spirituality. The understanding that even a most elementary level of spiritually must begin
with true self-nullification or “hisbatlus”
and an unwavering commitment to cling to G-d or “divaikus” has left me wanting.
The road would be difficult enough if it were clear, but along the way contradictions
begets doubt and doubt poisons passion sending a broken heart into a paralyzing
slumber. When to compromise and when to hold out, when to take action and when
to sit by – very few are certain – and we have all seen the evils of a false
certainty. The world too screams its questions adding to the din, the good
suffer and the wicked prosper, the weak are trampled while the strong pervert,
understanding is lost, the moral compass is broken, vulgarity and dishonesty have
gained an upper hand and are now the norm.
Where are the leaders?
Where are the ones that comfort and shed light? Where are the ones we can hold
up proudly, the ones we can all follow blindly and trust when they tell us to
march into the sea.
With the world in its current
state how can one celebrate the birth of its creation – has it all been a
terrible mistake, a cosmic error? Has G-d’s experiment failed as it did before the
great flood?
All I have is Faith, faith
that G-d loves us beyond any reason. Parental love just is – like a law of
nature.
I don’t understand the
cosmic plans, or even what’s expected of me at this point – I just hold onto
the one fact that G-d who controls every aspect of the universe loves me along with all of humanity and creation as a father loves his child – It is this thought alone that steadies my legs as I stand in the house of prayer on Judgment Day.
Of course I need to
better myself but for now it’ll have to be one small step at a time. I believe the
"footsteps of redemption" are my own, slowly and carefully stepping in
the right direction.
