Homecoming Delayed

After the tragedy with Dina and Shechem, Yaakov receives a prophecy. 

"Rise up and go to Beis El, dwell there and make there an altar to the God that appeared to you when you fled from before your brother Eisav" (Bereishis 35:1).  

This directive has a backstory. After stealing the Berachos from Eisav, Yaakov fled to Charan. Enroute, Hashem came to him in a dream and promised to be with him, protect him, and return him to the Land of Israel. When Yaakov awoke, he set up a stone as a monument and took an oath. 

"If Hashem will be with me and protect me on this road that I am traveling on, [if He] gives me bread to eat and clothes to wear and I return in peace to my my father's home... This stone which I have placed as a monument shall be a house of [service for] Hashem" (28:15, 20-22). 

Yaakov promised to build a house for Hashem, and now, over twenty years later, Hashem is telling Yaakov to fulfill his promise. More than a mere reminder, this prophecy is actually a devastating rebuke, for the promise is past-due. 

"Because you delayed in fulfilling your promise, you were punished and this [raping by Shechem] happened to your daughter [Dina]" (Rashi to 35:1). 

Ignoring a promise to God is obviously a serious sin, but why this horrific punishment? It does not seem to fit the crime. Hashem always responds measure for measure, so we must first understand the nature of the sin. Why did Yaakov delay? 

While the forefathers of the Chosen Nation were righteous beyond comprehension, they were not infallible and the Torah points out their mistakes. Invariably, however, their "sins" are subtle. Here we are confronted with what appears to be a failure of trustworthiness, from none other than Yaakov Avinu, the Man of Truth!

Why did Yaakov delay the fulfillment of his promise? And why was the family punished specifically with the tragedy of Dina? The Midrashim and commentaries are uncharacteristically silent on these basic questions.

II

When I presented these questions to my father, Rabbi Noam Gordon of Yerushalayim, he offered the following explanation. In his oath, Yaakov pledged that if Hashem brings him back home to his father's house in peace, he would build a בית אלקים - a "House of God." What exactly does it mean to build a terrestrial home for the infinite creator? Yeshayahu HaNavi described it thus: "My House is a house of prayer for all nations" (Yeshayah 56:7). God's House is a place where every human being feels comfortable to come and speak to Him. 

The builder of such a house would obviously need to be a universally respected leader, a person capable of uniting all of humanity. Yaakov understood this; he knew that before he could build a House of God, he must first build a following. This is why Yaakov settled in Shechem and bought a field. His intention was to forge relationships, engage in outreach, and inspire the Canaanites with monotheism, continuing the work begun two generations earlier by his grandfather Avraham. Avraham functioned as a "chariot" - delivering the Shechinah into the consciousness of humanity - and he was successful because he was recognized as a "Prince of God" (Bereishis 23:6). Yaakov set out to build the very same reputation. Only after establishing himself as Avraham's successor would Yaakov be able to build a House of God for all nations.

Best intentions aside, Hashem expected Yaakov to fulfill his promise as soon as he was able. Even if his following consisted of no more than the members of his own household, Yaakov should have headed straight to Bais El to build the Bais Elokim. It was wrong to delay, but at least now we can understand Yaakov's thinking.

My father's explanation of Yaakov's sin enables us to understand what happens next. The kidnapping and violation of Dina is just the beginning of the story. In response, Shimon and Levi take revenge and annihilate the entire town of Shechem. Yaakov then fears for the safety of the family, expecting a counterattack from the other Cannanite villagers in the area (34:30).

In short, Yaakov's move to Shechem backfired. Instead of gaining a following, he is now persona non grata, an enemy of the people - and it is at this very moment that Hashem tells him to go build the promised Bais Elokim. Hashem set this all up, orchestrating events in order to make a critical point about His priorities. 

As the Man of Emes, Yaakov naturally yearns for perfection. He wants to build the ultimate House of God for all nations, yet that holy yearning is fraught with danger, as it leads to delays. The service of Hashem needs to be beautiful and the Avos are held to the highest standards, but perfection not attainable, nor is it desirable. "The Torah was not given to angels." A packed sanctuary honors the King - ברוב עם הדרת מלך - but it is more important for Yaakov to expedite his promise, even if the result is a humble house of God serviced only by his twelve sons. 

When it comes to Mitzvos, enhancements must never compromise timeliness (see Nefesh HaChaim 1:22, perakim 8).

III

There are additional mysteries here. By the time Yaakov returns to Israel from Charan, over two decades have passed since his departure. Yaakov's parents, Yitzchok and Rivkah, have never met his wives or his children. We would expect Yaakov to head straight home and reunite with his parents, but no. Inexplicably, he settles down in the town of Shechem. Yaakov is only about seventy miles away from his parent's home in Chevron, but he lets at least a year and half go by before he gives them a visit (cf. Rashi to 33:17).

In the original oath, Yaakov expressed his yearning for home. "If... I return in peace to my father's home... then this stone which I have placed as monument will be a house for Hashem." The feelings did not fade with time. Even his father-in-law Lavan knew why Yaakov was in a rush to get back to Israel. "You left because you missed your father's home" (31:30). 

If Yaakov missed his parents so much, why didn't he go see them? 

The tragedy of Yaakov's delay is compounded by the death of his mother. Rivka never gets to see her grandchildren, as she passes away just shortly before Yaakov arrives (cf. Rashi to 35:8). With his mother gone and his twin brother estranged, the blind and widowed Yitzchok is the sole remaining family member to welcome Yaakov when he finally comes home (35:27). 

Another question. As soon as Yaakov settles in Shechem, he builds an altar. "He established an altar there and called it Kel Elokei Yisroel" (33:20). Rashi explains. "Not that the altar itself was called Elokei Yisroel (God of Israel), but rather in recognition of the fact that Hashem was with him and saved him, he named the altar after the miracle."

Safe and sound back in Israel, Yaakov is blessed with wives, children and wealth. The saga with Eisav is over and the time has come for him to express his appreciation with an altar. But instead of building an altar in Beis El as promised, Yaakov builds one in Shechem?! How do we explain this? 

IV

The key to resolving these mysteries lies in a linguistic distinction. Yaakov's original promise to build an altar was conditional, first and foremost, on divine protection. אם יהיה אלקים עמדי ושמרני בדרך הזה - "If Hashem will be with me and protect me..." A careful reading of Rashi reveals that Yaakov's altar in Shechem was not in thanks for protection, but for something else: על שם שהיה הקב"ה עמו והצילו - "because Hashem was with him and saved him." Salvation is what Yaakov prayed for (32:12) and salvation is what he received, but it is not the same as protection. A person who is protected does not need saving. 

Hashem saved Yaakov from both Lavan and Eisav, and in appreciation, Yaakov builds an altar in Shechem. However, regarding his promise to build an altar in Beis El, Yaakov was unsure how to proceed. That altar was designated for divine protection, and frankly, Yaakov did not feel protected. 

Yaakov arrived in Charan empty handed and Lavan took advantage of him, tricking him into marrying Leah, working him for fourteen years, and repeatedly cheating him in business. Subsequently, Yaakov was pursued by Lavan, ambushed by Eisav, and attacked and wounded by an angel. Hashem saved his life, and Yaakov acknowledges that Hashem was "with him" (31:42), but could it be said that Hashem protected him? 

Although long ago Hashem had promised to protect Yaakov, ושמרתיך בכל אשר תלך, sins can cause Hashem's promises to evaporate, שמא יגרום החטא. A humble Tzaddik, Yaakov was unsure of his spiritual standing and, in light of all that had transpired, he feared he no longer deserved nor received divine protection. Yaakov's uncertainty explains how he could be afraid of being killed by Eisav (Rashi to 32:11) and at the same time attempt to call in Hashem's old promise of protection (Rashi to 32:10). Yaakov did not know where he stood.

This uncertainty also explains why Yaakov did not return home to see his parents. If Hashem had been protecting him, then returning home in peace would complete the last remaining condition he had set on his promise, triggering an obligation to build a מזבח in בית אל. On the other hand, if Yaakov had lost divine protection, then he cannot build a מזבח in בית אל, for one cannot thank Hashem for something Hashem did not do (especially if it was something Hashem had wanted to do, but couldn't due to sins). Yaakov therefore stays away from home, so as not to enter into a Halachic conundrum.

Failure to build the promised altar was a grave error and Yaakov is punished with the rape of Dina. This punishment provided Yaakov with an answer of painful clarity. To paraphrase Hashem's response: "You avoided build the altar because you question if I have been protecting you? Yes, you have had a difficult life, but watch what happens to your family when I remove my protection for just one moment!"

הקב"ה מדקדק עם סביביו כחוט השערה

Hashem deals most stringently with those who are closest to Him.

Like Uncle, Like Nephew

Eisav is out for revenge and Yaakov must flee.

Yitzchok calls in Yaakov, blesses him, and gives him instructions. "Do not marry a Canaanite woman. Get up and go to Padan Aram, to the home of Besuel your mother's father and take for yourself there a wife from the daughters of Lavan your mother's brother." (28:1) 

Yitzchok sent Yaakov off. He went to Padan Aram, to Lavan, son of Besuel the Aramite, brother of Rivkah, the mother of Yaakov and Eisav. (28:1,5)

It is strange indeed that the Torah felt it necessary to reiterate, at this late stage of the family saga, the painfully obvious fact that Rivkah is the mother of Yaakov and Eisav. Our greatest commentator shrugs his shoulders. "I do not know what this teaches us" (Rashi ad loc.). 

Although Rashi freely admits when he is at a loss (cf. Bereishis 35:13, Gilyon HaShas to Berachos 25b), in the absence of a pressing question, it is unheard of for Rashi to make such a comment. When a commentator has no useful insight, surely he has the right to remain silent.   

In his supercommentary Maskil L'Dovid, Rabbi Dovid Pardo (d. 1792) offers a delightfully creative rereading of Rashi's words. He argues that Rashi is not throwing in the towel. On the contrary, when Rashi wrote "I do not know what this teaches us," he was presenting a brilliant explanation of this difficult verse.

As we can well imagine, before Yaakov departed for Padan Aram, he had a question for his father. 

"You have instructed me to go and marry one of my cousins, a daughter of Uncle Lavan. I have never met Lavan. What kind of man is he? Tell me about him." 

Although Yaakov's question is not recorded in the Torah, Yitzchok reply is. The Torah's seemingly superfluous description of Lavan as the "brother of Rivkah, the mother of Yaakov and Eisav" is actually an abbreviated quote of Yitzchok's response to Yaakov, and Rashi, in typical fashion, fleshes it out. To paraphrase:

"My dear son Yaakov, I wish I could answer your question. I don't know Lavan personally. Ordinarily, we can infer a man's personality from his nephew, for sons always take after their mother's brother (Yevamos 62b). However, my brother-in-law Lavan has two very different nephews, you and your brother Eisav. This presents a conundrum and I do not know what this teaches us about your uncle!"

II

When Yaakov first meets Rachel, he introduces himself by saying כי אחי אביה הוא, "he is her father's brother" (29:12). This is technically false, as Yaakov is not Lavan's brother but rather his nephew. Rashi defends Yaakov's usage by citing a precedent: Avraham called his nephew Lot a "brother" (13:8). However, this interpretation is unsatisfying, for the parallel is not direct. In the case of Lot, he was Avraham's brother's son. In line with the Talmudic dictum, בני בנים הרי הם כבנים, "the sons of sons are considered like sons" (Yevamos 62b), Lot can be considered a son of Terach and thus a brother of Avrahom. This is not applicable in the case of Yaakov's relationship with Lavan, for Yaakov was not the son of Lavan's brother, he was the son of Lavan's sister. 

Presumably, this is why Rashi offers an alternative interpretation, which has Yaakov making an assertive statement regarding his father-in-law to be:  

...אם לרמאות הוא בא, גם אני אחיו ברמאות 

If he attempts to trick me, I am his equal ("brother") in trickery. And if he is an אדם כשר, an honest man, than I am also [honest, for I am] the son of his honest sister Rivkah. (Baba Basra 123a)

Yaakov is not postering. Rachel is Yaakov's wife-to-be and she has a right to know the personality of her future husband. Yaakov would love to give a straight answer, but he is confused and does not know what to say. 

Yaakov originally thought he was destined for the tents of Torah, but Hashem seems to have other plans. After outsmarting a suspicious father and a shrewd brother, Yaakov is confronted with his hitherto unknown God-given potential. It is frightening realization. Trickery is not compatible with Yaakov's self image as a proudly naive man of truth. 

So what kind of person is he? Well, men always take after their mother's brother, so Yaakov tells Rachel that everything depends on the dubious character of "brother" Lavan. If Lavan is honest, then so am I. And if not, not. 

Yet Yaakov is mistaken. His identity is not tied to Lavan at all. On the contrary, the Torah testifies that Yaakov was born an איש תם, "a simple man" (25:27) and Rashi (ad loc.) defines that to mean מי שאינו חריף לרמות, "someone who lacks the shrewdness necessary to be a trickster." 

How can this be? If Lavan is a scoundrel (29:25) and a swindler (31:7), how could his sister's son be an איש תם, the polar opposite of his uncle?

III

Rivkah was barren (25:21), childless for the first twenty years of her marriage (25:20,26). The Midrash famously states that all four of the foremothers started off barren because "Hashem desires the prayers of the righteous." The Netziv offers a different explanation.

Children naturally take after their mother's brother, and in the case of Rivkah that would mean her children would be born with negative character traits. In order to prevent this eventuality, Hashem made Rivkah incapable of bearing children naturally. She could only have a child supernaturally, in which case the child would not take after her wicked brother.

Describing her husband's prayers during this difficult period, the Torah tells us that Yitzchok pleaded לנכח אשתו, "opposite" his wife (25:21). In light of the Netziv's commentary, we can can take these words literally. Afraid of Lavan's genes, Yitzchok davened "against" his wife, praying that she would not give birth to a child naturally. Yitzchok only wanted a child if the birth would be supernatural, free of his brother-in-law's influence. 

Hashem answered Yitzchok's plea (25:21) and the result was an איש תם, the antithesis of Lavan. However, Yaakov was not born alone. Rivkah gave birth to twins. 

IV

Yaakov was conceived first (Rashi to 25:26) and his birth was Hashem's response to Yitzchok's tefillah. The question is Eisav. If Rivkah was incapable of conceiving naturally, does that mean Hashem performed a special miracle to create a monster?

A generation earlier earlier, when the barren Sarah gave birth to Yitzchok at age ninety, "many barren women were remembered with her, many sick people were healed that day, many prayers were answered with her; there was a great rejoicing in the world" (Rashi to 20:6). 

When it rains, it pours, and when Hashem opens the gates, He showers blessings on the whole world. It follows that when Hashem answered Yitzchok's prayer for a miracle child, many barren women were healed of their disability, including Rivkah herself. This is why Rivkah is able to conceive another child. As opposed to Yaakov, this second child was conceived naturally and should therefore take after his mother's brother. 

The Torah tells us that Yitzchok loved Eisav because ציד בפיו, Eisav had "game in his mouth" (25:28). Rashi quotes the Midrash, "Eisav trapped [Yitzchok], tricking him with his words." Like uncle, like nephew. Eisav was a trickster, just like Uncle Lavan. 

V

Unaware of his father's preconception prayer, Yaakov naturally assumes his birth was natural and he is "blessed" with the trickster traits of Uncle Lavan. Yaakov's negative sense of self is reinforced by his native talent as an voice impersonator (cf. Ramban to 27:12), and also by Eisav's twisted take on his name. "So that's why they called him Yaakov - he tricked me twice! He took my birthright and now he took my blessing!" (27:36). Yaakov is wrong about himself, but the misconception is central to Hashem's plan.

Skillsets are overrated; self image is what matters. Thinking he was חריף לרמות, shrewd enough to outsmart anyone, Yaakov faced down Lavan, Eisav, and Shechem with confidence. In reality, Yaakov was an איש תם, but he was better off not knowing it.